I decided

Well it didn't take me too long to decide what I want to do. I was suprisingly upset about the idea of not having a webpage to update anymore. But I am going to make some changes. I am going to try and stop just regurgitating my day on here and try to come up with something to actually say. And if I don't have anything, don't update!

Also I am going to make some rules for anyone who reads this who works with me. And if you don't want to follow them you can just not read it! Those rules are:
1.) Just because I talk about something on my webpage does not mean I want to talk about it in real life. This especially includes my diet, my political beliefs and my relationship.
2.) Don't go around telling everyone that I have a webpage. If they are really bored they will find it themselves.

Okay I want to explain the first rule a little in terms of why those three things are not to be brought up. First the diet thing. I have had issues with food for a long time. Not like starving myself in the hospital issues, but using food to both comfort and punish myself. It started in about 7th grade and continued until about 3 years ago when I decided to finally really start to exercise and slowly start to eat better. Instead of just not eating to lose weight. While not everyday is perfect they are all better than they were in high school. Unless you have had a weight problem (and I know I never really did being when I started all this I was about 5'8" or so and 150 lbs that is just chubby not really fat) or thought you did you can't really understand. And unless you are a girl you can't understand the pressure that is put on you from childhood all the way through your life about being pretty. No matter what else you are, if you are not pretty (ie thin) you are not worth anything. This was very hard on me as a teenager. I KNEW I was pretty smart, my grades didn't lie. But when you have frizzy hair, glasses and are a little chubby you worry a lot about the looks thing. And I did. And I didn't deal with it the right way then. But I am now. But for me it is a VERY PRIVATE thing on a day to day basis. And though I may mention my continued struggles with my sweet tooth and my inherent lack of athleticism here usually that is all I want to say about it. I don't want to talk about it beyond that. Except maybe with someone who really understands and knows me. Like Becky.

Okay the second issue of the first rule. I have my political beliefs, you are not going to change them and politics is just one of those topics like outer space and the deep ocean floor that I have little interest in and no desire to talk about.

Finally my relationship, and by that I mean the one with Mike. I don't really want to talk to most people about that, and I don't even write about the "relationship" part of it on here just to avoid the topic altogether. And that is not because I am unhappy with it, I am very happy with it, when I get to see him! The thing is people often feel the need to ask me when we are going to get engaged. And refer to Mike as my husband to be. Maybe we will end up there, but that is not up to YOU it is up to US! That is a very large decision and not one I want to feel outside pressure about, and by outside I mean anyone other than the two of us. No one can understand the reality of someone else's relationship or their level of contentment with it. So don't try and place your experiences or baggage on our relationship. I have enough internal issues as it is without feeling like other people are pressuring me to give Mike an ultimatum for something I am not sure either one of us it ready for right now. And hey we might be ready for it tomorrow or it might not be for years or never. But I don't want to be one of those girls, I just want to enjoy my relationship and the fun we have and not ruin it over a couple of pieces of metal, a party and a piece of paper.

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