Lost in a Book

I have several things to blog about, but I just couldn't make the time to write them up tonight. Why? I was given a book at work today, I started it at lunch and I have barely been able to put it down since.

Vaccinated: One Man's Quest to Defeat the World's Deadliest Diseases

It is probably most interesting to me because of what I do, but I think a lot of people could be interested in it. I am nearly halfway finished so hopefully I will have it completed tomorrow.

That was tough

Wow work has really been taking a toll on me this month. We were under a huge time crunch to implement a project and I have been killing myself to get it done (working multiple days for 16 or more hours, nights and weekends reviewing documents and emails etc) and finally last night at 11 I finished up what needed to be complete before the holidays. I am looking forward to having some time off until January, and picking up my camera again!

I am so sad

Roche to take over Genentech for $47 billion

That is not good news. Yes I will make a pretty penny off the shares I bought through my ESPP for prices ranging from the high $50s to the high $70s when they pay me $95 a share for them, but I could cry that a company I loved so much (even though I left it, which I admit I regret on many levels and I try not to regret anything) is going to change so much. The culture there is so special and I know that this is in all likelihood going to kill it.

Yeah/Boo

Yeah for a little extra time in the morning to spend on my blog
Boo for that I have the time because I can't wear makeup or jewelry and my only hair option is a tight ponytail, and this is to go to work!

I have my aseptic gowning qualification today, which luckily I won't need to use often (or hopefully ever) because it is darn hot and uncomfortable inside that outfit! Wish me luck, I am the least coordinated person I know and that isn't a benefit when trying to put on sterile garments without hardly touching them or letting them touch other things!

Unhappy

I know I shouldn't let it bother me but I am rather offended at times by how my current company treats me. More later tonight at home.

Later:
I know it is a silly thing to be hurt by the fact that I am not getting moved from one shitty modular building (ie trailer) to another with the other two people from my old group going to my new group. But it did hurt me.

I am going to be honest here and say so far I am pretty miserable at this job. I have been trying really hard to give it time and a fair shake and try not to hold it up to the standards of my last job, but I don't know how much longer I can do that. Especially when I feel like I am not being treated fairly by them. I think I made a big mistake by giving in and agreeing to leave CA. The worst part is, we can't go back. Mike doesn't seem to understand that, he throws it out like it is a viable option, but it isn't, even if we did go back it won't be the same. How can he not get that? How does he not see that the job I loved is GONE forever . . .

We are having a bit of a fight right now and I just don't care.

Nearly 6 months

It has been nearly 6 months since I left DNA and I can't shake the feeling that I am still morning that loss.

Today is our "all-hands" meeting the industrial operations (ie manufacturing) at my new job. Aside from bring boring (duh I am writing a blog post to type up later during it), I sit here alone (because I didn't feel like looking for anyone I know to sit with) feeling like an outsider. I know that is all me, I need to step up and join in if I really want that to chance. No matter how much I want to do that I feel like I can't until I can really let DNA go.

Maybe it is the reverse? Maybe it will be easier to let go if I have a hold of something new? What else is it about this job/company/culture that is holding me back?

I know when I joined DNA I had a hard time committing to it. It probably took me 1-2 years to really settle in and love it there. maybe I am pushing too hard with this one? But now I know what it is like to belong at a job, to be proud of your company and I miss it. I want that back. Is it possible? Can I find that here? Does this culture fit me?

No matter what if I am still here this time next year, I am skipping this meeting!

Thinking Ahead

Last night on the drive home from work I listed to Christmas music (which I have only done one other time so far this year so I am doing well for me!). While I was listening I was thinking about all the Christmases to come and imagining them in a house that Mike and I own, and I realized I HAVE to have an old house, it gave me butterflies thinking about living in one and really making it my own. Even if we have to wait and save up for another couple of years.

In other news I will officially have a new boss on the 17th and will start focusing on a new area at work (the brand new Flu building that will be doing its first production runs in the spring). Hopefully that will improve the job situation and I will be happier there!

Mike's Office

I took last Friday off and went into Bethlehem to have lunch with Mike. I also got to see his office, probably a big mistake as it is about a million times nicer than my crappy cube in a trailer with no bathroom.



Are you jealous? And you are only seeing part of the office! It is HUGE!

Skytop

For three days this past week I was off-site from work at a quality training program. The training was held at a resort in the Poconos (about 15 miles from work). It was SO fancy! I looked at the room rates brochure and the prices were insane! The first day was really rainy and yucky but the second day I took my camera so I could wander around the gardens and get some shots of the gorgeous stone hotel.

The front


Main Entrance


Gardens




The back

Day by Day

Not having internet at work is really eating into my ability to post here. Not that I need to post from work, but when I get home I have so much other stuff to read on the web to catch up between my google reader, emails, and message boards that I rarely have the time or energy left to write up a good post. I am hoping that eventually I will either a) get a little web access to help with SOME of that, b) get an iphone so that I can surf on my breaks or c) scale down some of the stuff I used to do on the web when I had more access so that I can keep up with the things that are really important to me.

Other than not having any web access at work, work is . . . well honestly boring. I have no work to do yet, my boss is on vacation until next week, and all I have is a pile of reading that is putting me to sleep. The dress code here is very different than GNE and is taking some getting used to on my part (not that I mind the excuse to buy more pairs of shoes and clothes) but I am still working on figuring out how strict they are on it. I have seen people breaking the specific rules listed in it (no shorts, no bare legs (ie stockings are required with a shirt, socks or other required with pants), no sneakers, no open toed shoes, no denim of any kind) but I don't know who these people are and if that has something to do with why they can get away with it. Further research is required.

Also I am doing a ton of walking at work, especially for someone who sits at her desk reading all day. There is no bathroom in the modular building (read trailer) we are in so I have to walk outside into another building and down a hallway just to take care of that bit of business (I like the time killing aspect of it, not the walking).

Overall I am trying to reserve judgment until I really get to know the place, it is not fair to compare it at this point to a place I had worked for 3 years and knew and really liked so many people. It took time to develop that there and I need to give this job that time as well right?

Second Day

Second day of my new job. And again I am unbearably early. I am really looking forward to when I have a new routine in place.

This is Hard!

I knew it would be tough to leave a job that I like, with people that I like, at a company I like I just didn't know how hard. I had no idea how much I would question this decision after it was made. It's too late to go back now, and I don't even know if I really want to, or if I am just scared of going forward. There is a really good chance that in 6-12 months I will not even want to look I am so happy, but right now all I am doing is looking forward into the unknown and fearing the worst.

Nearly Official

We have told our family and friends our decision, and I have told the interview company as well. Now we just need to give notice at our current jobs. I am so nervous about that. I know people do it all the time, it is just such an odd conversation to be having. "hey boss, got a minute?" quietly shuts door behind her"Um so I have um . . . accepted a new job back on the east coast. I would like my last day here to be June 20th." final part all said in a breathless rush. Sounds like fun right?

CA vs PA/NJ Pro Con List

Okay we have a huge decision to nail down here and I would like to make a pro con list to just get it all out there and see if that makes the decision more obvious than it feels right now.

Pros
1.) No more long trips (including flights) home for the holidays.
2.) Frequency of seeing family would increase, friends as well.
3.) Could start looking at houses to buy as we would be planning to settle down.
4.) We want to move back eventually anyway, and it isn't going to get easier with time.
5.) Could get a kitten and a puppy once we buy a house.
6.) Could take weekend trips into NY or Philly. (Though I must admit we are v. bad about going into SF)
7.) Flying would only be for vacations.
8.) Pension plan at work, relocation & offer on table is v. good.
9.)
10.)

Cons
1.) Leaving warmer weather, no snow (no salt to encourage car rust).
2.) Commute would stay as long as it is now, and Mike would be driving a lot as well, this means spending a LOT of money on gas.
3.) Leaving work friends.
4.) No more ho-hos.
5.) Towns in between our jobs are a little small and maybe rural-ish?
6.) Mike would have to give up his band.
7.)
8.)
9.)
10.)

Stay the same:
1.) Miles on car.
2.) Need to find a new barn (Dagi is teaching less and less so I would have to find one out here if I want to ride consistently).
3.) Salary & benefits for me pretty even with current.
4.)
5.)
6.)
7.)
8.)
9.)
10.)

I will come back and add more to this as I think of it.

An Offer

Yesterday I got a verbal offer from the company in PA that I interviewed with two weeks ago. It's decent. But really the details of the offer (unless it was terrible) I think will have little or nothing to do with this decision. It all really depends on Michael being able to find a job he will like close enough to there that we both have workable commutes, and right now that is looking unlikely. I have until Thursday to give them an answer. Part of me thinks I should just say no now, why make them wait when I highly doubt anything will change in two days. But for some reason Mike doesn't think I should write it off so quickly, which seems weird. I guess I should keep applying for jobs tonight.

My Stomach is All in Knots

I finally got an email back today with a date for an on-site interview for that job I have had two phone interviews with. It is one week from today. I am just super SUPER nervous. Unbearably excited that if this works out we could be back on the east coast by August! Maybe even driving back on my birthday (I wouldn't mind spending my 30th birthday in Yellowstone!). But scared about interviewing (always am) and I hate flying (it is just so LONG from CA to PA) and SAD about the idea of leaving this job. I know things are changing here and a good chance I won't be as happy here in a few months, but I love the people I work with, and I would miss several of them like crazy!!!! Thank god I get to go to the gym soon and burn some of this off!!!

miscellaneous

- I had a great lesson last night. I feel like my riding has reached a whole new level the past couple of months. I have no idea what changed or where this all came from but I am loving it!

- We had a wonderful but short trip to West Virginia last weekend to meet our nephew Lucas. He is adorable. I can't really share any pictures though as SIL doesn't want them on the web and I have to respect that. I got to feed him three times, give him and give him a bath!!

- I am just waiting on an email from that job in PA to schedule an on-site interview. I hope I hear from them soon, I am starting to worry as it has been 3 days since I sent them my list of dates (I am always worried they will have changed their minds). If this pans out there is a real chance we could move by the end of the summer. That would make me SO happy!

- We might go to the racetrack tonight to bet on the ponies, eat hotdogs and take pictures. It all depends on if Mike gets done with work on time.

Keeping Busy

I have been keeping myself pretty busy this weekend. Mainly with my normal activity of sitting on the couch (a favorite week night activity as well) but the past week or so instead of just surfing the web during that time I have finally started to get serious about looking for a new job so we can move back to the east coast. It is a bittersweet decision as I actually really enjoy both my current work and the people I work with. I will be sad to say good-bye to all that. But I do look forward to being much closer to our families, hopefully being able to afford a house, get a puppy all that.

I have added a new page element to the sidebar to track my job application process. So at the end we can see how many jobs I had to apply to in order to end up with one accepted job offer. Hopefully it won't be in the hundreds, applying to 5 over the past week has already been tiring.

Wish me luck!

I can't seem to post without pictures

My blog is going to die if I keep waiting to have new pictures to focus a post around. I didn't realize how much I relied on that until I now don't have it. I am going to try to post some old pictures that I haven't really blogged about yet instead!

On another topic let me say that yesterday was an odd day at work. I can't really go into it, we aren't supposed to talk about it. What I can say is how much your reaction to not having the option to do something can tell you about what you would have done given the option. Strange.

Random Day Off

Yesterday I took a random day off of work to burn through some of my comp time for that project I was working on over the holidays. It was nice to have a break in the week, and to get some errands taken care of. I even got to have some fun and I went to the movies. I love going to the movies by myself, especially for things I don't think Mike would enjoy seeing. Yesterday I chose to see Atonement, which I thought was pretty good, a little weird and left me feeling like I needed to see it again to really understand it, now knowing the whole story. I hope to have one day off a week until we go to Disneyland (next Monday is a holiday). Sounds nice huh?