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I worry that it is bad that I like this place and this job so much so far. What if I don't get it? What if I do and I don't like it as much as I think I will? What if it is hard for Mike to find a job out here? What if I get it, like it, like it here and never want to move back to the East Coast? What if this turns out to be an amazing job with an amazing company and amazing people in an amazing place where I can finally see Mike everyday? What will be left to do with my life? I would have everything I wanted short of my own horse! Can I live with that level of happiness? I am not sure I have ever had that. What if I have that, then I fuck it up? It's funny how the idea of having what you want can be almost as, if not more, frightening than the idea of never having it. Once you have had it, and lose it you will really KNOW what you are missing now. More so than if you had never had it!
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