10.09.2004

I think it went well

Today went pretty well in my opinion. I was the last one to come in so I should find out the results next week! I am kind of numb about it at this point but I am sure I will start to get more nervous and excited as time passes and we get closer to when I expect to hear something. Nothing happened today that would change my opinion about this possibility being a good choice for me, if anything I am more convinced now that it would be. I just have to hope that they think that it would be good for them as well. And it is beautiful here. I didn't get to take as many pictures as I wanted to because it is hard to do that while you are driving and there is no view at all from my hotel, except of the outlet stores across the road!





















The flight yesterday was actually terrible, because I flew first class. It has ruined me forever I think, I am not looking forward to being back in business class tomorrow, I am going to cry! I even had a hot fudge sundae as part of dinner! ON THE PLANE!! **sigh** And I met some really nice people on the plane. The first guy who sat next to me was giving me tons of interview tips because he has interviewed hundreds of people! And our first class flight attendent was so funny! And TRI-lingual! Very impressive. The guy who sat next to me from Denver to Sacramento was nice as well and was telling me about CA.

I worry that it is bad that I like this place and this job so much so far. What if I don't get it? What if I do and I don't like it as much as I think I will? What if it is hard for Mike to find a job out here? What if I get it, like it, like it here and never want to move back to the East Coast? What if this turns out to be an amazing job with an amazing company and amazing people in an amazing place where I can finally see Mike everyday? What will be left to do with my life? I would have everything I wanted short of my own horse! Can I live with that level of happiness? I am not sure I have ever had that. What if I have that, then I fuck it up? It's funny how the idea of having what you want can be almost as, if not more, frightening than the idea of never having it. Once you have had it, and lose it you will really KNOW what you are missing now. More so than if you had never had it!

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