Oh no the bird!!

Tuesday night while I was watching TV my roommate Margo was trying to get her bird out of his cage and he was just hiding in his little bed. Usually he will come out even if he is mad at her and doesn't want to get out of the cage and play. She called around and finally found a vet she could take him to. They didn't really know what was wrong with him but suggested about $300-500 worth of stuff they could try to do to help him. She agreed and left the room so they could start working on him. Within a minute he had passed away. I know the bird and I didn't really get along well at times, I yelled at him a lot. But I was really hoping we could find some agreeable way to continue to live in the same apartment. Last night when I got home from work it was strangely quiet.

Still no word from CA, hopefully I will hear something tomorrow. I am working under the assumption that the job with them isn't going to work out at this point. What else can I think after six months of back and forth like this? That being the case I also starting looking again for new jobs to apply to on Tuesday. That has left me feeling really upset and confused. Because I am sick of looking, because I am so unhappy at work right now, because I don't know WHERE to look for jobs (Northern California, Southern Maryland, Southern Florida), because I don't know what type of jobs I want to look for, because maybe I want to go back to school, maybe I want to chuck it all and become homeless. You would think that being 26 would be fun, happy, easy, no mortage, no kids, no husband. Instead I think I am really having a quarter life crisis. And I don't like it one bit.

How do I fix this? How do I make myself happy?