Yesterday was my always fun visit to the girl parts doctor. No one likes to go see them, but it is something you do to take care of yourself and to get the pills that prevent the babies! Generally the fact that you have to get naked in front of someone you barely know and hang your butt cheeks off the end of a "chair" in front of their face while naked is enough to make it an unpleasant 15 minutes. But when the doctor starts telling you that you are getting fat and need to drop some pounds before the door is even shut that makes it even worse! And then to go on to tell me that I am not getting younger and if Mike and I want to have kids we should really start thinking seriously about it NOW just made me want to curl up and die. Great I am a fatty whose sole purpose in life is to make babies and I better get on it if I want to be successful at that, and don't forget to lose those extra pounds first!! That just made yesterday a SUPER day for me.
I wasn't going to write about any of this here because honestly it really hurt my feelings, more than I think anyone but a girl who has been there can understand. And I am still not sure why I am other than maybe hoping that getting it off my chest will make me feel a little better. I still want to curl up in a hole though and hide. And I can't believe she thinks that is okay. I don't think I will be going back to see her again. I can't condone giving my money, even a $10 copay, to someone who treats their patients like that. Yes I know I have put on a couple of pounds since getting married, but I am still in the healthy weight range for my height, albeit at the upper limit, a place I have never been before, and that is upsetting enough for me, I don't need it pointed out. And trust me I already feel enough pressure about the baby thing. I am just not ready to make a decision yet, and I resent anyone other than my husband putting any kind of expectations on me. And he doesn't.
Anyway, I feel a little better and a little sadder at the same time. But at least I know I won't be going back to see her again. Not that she will notice.