10.15.2004

3 hours

Our flight home leaves in about 3 hours. I am looking forward to getting home and taking care of some stuff, laundry, mail, and getting to see Mike tomorrow. It has been a while since I got to see him. And I need to see him because I am a bit depressed right now. I haven't heard a thing about CA, and to me that means it is likely I am not their first choice. That they picked someone else and are waiting for their answer before they cut the rest of the people loose. And I just feel so . . . like what else could I have done? What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? I thought most of the interviews went REALLY well. Of course the one I thought could have gone better was the one with the hiring manager. But they scheduled her last, how on could I be after 7 other people? Plus I was on east coast time. I did the best I could! I guess that is what really gets me, I did the best I could, gave them everything I had, offered myself and my future up to them, and they don't want it. How can I not be upset by that? How can I not take that personally? It is personal. If they flew me out there, they thought I was qualified, it was just mainly a personality and fit question. I can't blame it on lack of technical skill.


Now my big question for myself is, what am I going to do about this. How do I recovery so I don't give up, because I tend to do that when faced with a big disappointment like this. It just seems so impossible. And I don't know if I still want to go the route of trying to switch offices within my current company because it appears that some big changes are going on within my company this week. I need to wait and see how those shake out before I make a choice about that. Though if I could get out to CA, maybe that would help my chances with getting a different job.

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