In knots!

No run this morning. My alarm didn't go off. On Friday I dropped it when I was trying to turn it off and I think I broke it. I woke up 20 minutes later than normal. Too late to run and get to work on time, but just early enough to come into work early if I rushed a little. So I did. I guess I am doing cardio tonight after weights.

That is probably better than sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. I am in knots, I have been since yesterday. Mike and I talked about it this weekend, and we decided what we are going to do. Now I just have to wait for them to call me and let me know.

Aside from being all stressed out last night and that making it hard to sleep I woke up to the pitter-patter of little rodent feet. And in my sleep groggy state I decided first that there was a mouse in my room under my bed. Then I thought wait that sounds too loud to be a mouse, it must be a RAT! I was kind of freaking out but trying to stay calm. Trying to convince myself that I just wouldn't look under my bed, and that maybe I could borrow one of the cats who lives on the first floor to kill it, and that it wouldn't crawl up onto my bed. (RIGHT!) . . . Wait that sounds to big to be a rat, and we have never had a single rodent in this apartment, and I live on the THIRD floor, how did it get up here? OH silly it is the squirrel that lives on the roof running up and down above your window! That makes A LOT MORE SENSE!

At this point all signs point to a bad day, rodents, broken alarm clock, my outfit! Okay the outfit isn't horrible but well, I am wearing a polka-dot skirt with a striped shirt and a luckily solid sweater vest. I was feeling a little kooky this morning.

My god, what if they don't want me? What if they do? There are so many tradeoffs.
*Ease of getting home to see the parents vs nice new apartment.
*Possible white Christmas vs running outside ALL YEAR.
*Continuing to see Mike uninterrupted vs not seeing him possibly for several months, then being able to see him everyday.
*Getting to do my new holiday traditions (Winterthur, Longwood Gardens) and not getting to decorate this year vs getting to pack over the holidays and figure out when to give notice, when to leave if I should decorate at all.
*Job with no future but where I like the people and know what is expected of me vs a new job with possibly a great future but where I don't know the people, and I will worry if I can really DO the job.
HELP!!! I just keep going around in circles! Very dizzy making circles. I wish I could just stop thinking about it until they call me. And just try to be okay with whatever they tell me when they call. I am afraid that no matter what I am going to cry.

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